Keeping Expectations in Perspective

(By Joe Cinova)

 

Wow, it’s that time of the year again. When the holidays are here, what are you thinking about? What kind of memories are rekindled? Are you overwrought with certain expectations?

 

Many of us like to think about that special Christmas scene depicting the whole family sitting down for that holiday feast. We see them in a meticulously decorated “home for the holiday” surrounding gathered with warm smiles in anticipation of dinner.

 

Holidays are supposed to be that time of year full of surprises, joy, good cheer and lots of hope for a healthy and happy new year. For many though, it is a season of depression and the blues.

 

There are lots of parties and families getting together, but there many who only reflect on past failures and anxiety about the future. For others it is merely a time to evaluate self worth, being alone or self criticize.

 

What causes people to feel down and out during the holiday season?

 

There are many factors that contribute to a person feeling this way.

 

There is a major increase in stress and a person feeling fatigued from everything that is going on from several months of planning and running around Economic uncertainty for those having financial woes A lot of people set their expectations of the season too high Getting bombarded with commercials and ads Relationship concerns No family or friends to be with for the holidays Unemployment Medical issues

 

Once the holiday season begins we have the shopping to contend with, parties to plan, arrangements for members of the family to get together or stay over, and paying the bills   all which will contribute to feelings of stress, tension and being overwhelmed.

 

Some people that normally don’t let such things bother them can encounter other stressors including headaches, over drinking and eating and even having difficulty of sleeping at night.

 

There are many people that become depressed during the holidays. There are even more people who are overcome by the stress and anxiety after the holidays are done. Post holiday stress occurs after all the let downs of the seasons that a person may experience.

 

So much to accomplish, so much to hope for, so much to wish for so much left undone. How do we cope? Remember to plan for and watch out for the 3 main things that trigger the holiday stress. We need to control ourselves physical, mental and financial demands during these times.

 

Start your planning early Decide early what you will do and won’t do for the holidays Set expectations at a manageable level Divide and conquer. Set goals for yourself and set goals for others to help you with. You can’t do things alone. Set time frames for how long and when to get an item done. Realize that your list is only a list. Remember, if everything is a priority, nothing is a priority. Prioritize from the top down. If you can’t get it done, drop it and move on or get someone else to do it. This is a major part of the reality of getting thru the season. Use Scented candles. They are a powerful and wonderful reminder of the holidays for everyone’s comfort and pleasure. It’s one day…. Don’t spend all your time trying to make it perfect, life moves on! Do things for yourself. It’s your holiday too. Make the holidays your own. The good old days are wonderful, but now is the time to make your own memories. If they aren’t they “way they used to be” move on, don’t make a time for joy a time to sulk. Watch the spending. Don’t exceed your capabilities of paying for the gifts. If you do, it may make you feel good at that time, but the months and months it takes to pay off can extend the bad feelings for a long time. It isn’t necessary. Don’t overestimate the supposed results by doing so. Sometimes helping someone else or doing something for them is a great way to make them and you feel better. Watch the drinking and eating! Keep everything in moderation. Decorate and go out and see others decorations in the neighborhood or around town. Tis’ the season to be jolly…. Relax and enjoy all the sounds, smells, scenes and music of the season.

 

One of the premier ways to do so is listening to music and enjoying Holiday scented candles. Known as aromatherapy it is “using natural oils for physical and psychological therapeutic well being”.

 

The sense of smell is so powerful in evoking memories and total recall of vivid moments in time. Using this process of aromatherapy is a potent weapon in creating a soothing, quiet time for yourself. It creates a calming and comfortable moment in time that can be recreated in the future. Scented candles with these special essential oils are so important to the process. Don’t settle for any old candle or smell.

 

The holidays are what YOU make them. The outcomes can be predictable and fun. Don’t let them pass you by. You are definitely not alone in your struggle to succeed. We all have to deal with the holidays. Let’s get through them in the most a safe, happy and healthy way!

 

Thanks for stopping by and reading my article! Enjoy the holidays!

Tagged with: Coping • expectations • Holiday • seasons • stress

Filed under: Post-Traumatic Stress

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